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So I'm talking to my friend Denise about how fat I've gotten. C'mon girls, you know the drill: I am so fat that ... (You fill in the blank ) Well, this crazy bitch got me beat. She writes to me and I quote: I've gotten so large now that I have my own gravitational pull . Can you beat that? …

My birthday 2008 was the best ever! It was quite unlike last year's "worst ever birthday." I didn't try to throw myself a big party. In fact I was singing at the "World's Largest Block Party." This outdoor street festival charges thirty five bucks a person and tens of thousands attend!! The organizers promote this party as one of the biggest summer single's events in Chicago. And you will notice the lack of couples there. My niece Whitney noticed that there weren't a lot of couples - that's …

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Okay folks!! I just got back from doing a gig for McDonald's Corporation. It was an awards dinner dance and the honorees and guests were Ronald McDonald clowns from around the world. I kid you not. Actually, there is one "official Ronald McDonald." He was young & tall and I think - under that make up - kinda hot! The rest are called "Tom" - I swear!! There were "Tom's" from Peru, Brazil, Japan, The UK... around the world!! They all wore pins of Ronald McDonald waving a teeny flag of their …

I went to NYC a month ago to go see some plays on Broadway. We (me & cousins) booked a hotel in the Broadway district - literally around the corner from Times Square. Times Square was always a place I went to "glance at" or "drove through" for a brief moment thinking: "Wow! Look at Times Square - it's so crazy!" But this time I lived there for a couple nights and you know what? It was magnificent!!Yeah, yeah, it was touristy and crowded but it was also magical. There is so much energy there! …