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Lynne Jordan

A Great Big Diva!

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Lynne Jordan | A Great Big Diva

The Great Betrayal. My Right Knee (formerly known as My Good Knee)

May 9, 2017 By //  by Lynne Jordan

My knee blew out and I was stranded in the cinema screaming “Help! Help Me!” for 40 minutes.

I could not walk so I finally started calling the theater on my cell. I was unable to get a live person and was instructed to dial a different number to talk to a live representive, unfortunately the number was announced thusly: 3-1-2-5-6-CACKLE Sound-2-1-0-5 so I couldn’t figure out the number! After guessing: “561, 562 566,” “564” worked. I just wanted to say ” Stranded in Theater 4, send a wheelchair!” But all I got was a message telling me to “call back later” I tried screaming to the projection booth but I know those things are totally computer operated. Finally an elderly couple nosily peeped in the theater and by this time I was crying hysterically, anyway they asked the theater to send help – a kid who had never dealt with anything like this before and by the looks of that wheelchair (the sides didn’t raise up so there was no way to slide out of the lovely “accessible seats” at the cinema into this archaic wheelchair) no one had dealt with much because though sweet and patient he kept bumping me on carpet strips and since I had to hold my foot up and out because I couldn’t bend the knee, he stubbed my foot that caused me to shriek out in such pain that I silenced the busy corridor of the theater.

I made them call an ambulance which made me very grateful for the ACA cause my coverage started coverage started 3/1/2017 – then two of the cutest sweetest paramedics showed up from CFD but my infatuation suddenly turned to chagrin when one asks me “how much do you weigh?” And I realized they were concerned about lifting me up and carrying me! Luckily I was in too much pain to care about that humiliation. It was bad enough to be sitting there completely red-eyed from crying. So I text Dr Dan who replies “Go home and ice it down…Advil” which definitely saved me the trauma & expense of riding in an ambulance. Crawling up the two flights of stairs to my flat was interesting and peeing standing up (I’m scared to bend the knee for the pain) and of course my kitchen is at the back of the house so getting to the ice was impossible…as was going to the bathroom. I will spare you those details.

It took three days before I could put weight on that knee. And then only with the help of two canes. That was all two months ago. I am perfectly fine now. Back to working out in the gym and walking. But it kept me out of the movie theater for several weeks. My dear doctor fixed me up in time to perform at the Auditorium theater alongside Chita Rivera and the cast of Hamilton.

All’s well that ends well. One good thing: I am committed to losing weight to help relieve the pain and pressure on my joints!

Filed Under: In the Life of a Diva, The Adventures of Permanent Lifestyle Change Girl Tagged With: health, knee pain, knee trauma, Lynne Jordan, osteoarthritis, weight, weight and joint pain

About Lynne Jordan

Singer, Writer, Plus-Sized Diva, Movie Lover. Star Trek lover. Very Funny.

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