I am back at it. I have had so many false starts that I refrained from posting about my latest effort to lose weight. But it's been several weeks now and after losing 16 pounds I am formally declaring: IT'S ON! I am obese. I am a fat ass bitch and I'm sick of it. Folks get upset when I call myself fat. They even argue wih me: "You're not fat!" to which I respond: Remind me to never believe another word that comes out of your mouth again! I weigh over 300 pounds! I'm fat! face it! …
The Amazing Adventures of Permanent Lifestyle Change Girl: Back at it.
Missing In Action. That's what they'll say about me at the gym. I have fallen off the wagon. Oops! I wish I could blame it on "The Knee Chronicles" but I hopped off the ole' girl awhile before that. However, I am not discouraged. I figure as long as I am still living, I can improve my life. Taking care of myself, eating healthy and being fit is a goal that I am not about to abandon. I have adapted a new attitude. I woke up today and decided that I would pick up where I left off and start …
The Amazing Adventures of Permanent Lifestyle Change Girl: Starting Over.
I hope the title of this post spells it out for you. I have not been diligent in my quest to change my physical self. I must confess that I have been eating with total abandon, have done no exercise and frankly, I haven't even given a damn. I have been eating a lot and loving it, well, that is when I am not feeling uncomfortable from stuffing myself silly. Actually, I feel like a junkie or alchoholic who has fallen off the wagon... the food offers me comfort and immediate satisfaction that …
P.S. I forgot to pack my girdle…
OMG!!! It's true folks! I forgot to pack my girdle this weekend. I am performing at a black tie event without a girdle. You might ask: "How could this happen?" Hell, if I know. I have never- let me repeat - never, ever, forgotten my girdle. And we ain't talking no prissy, wimpy Spanx shit. I mean a GIRDLE. No offense to Spanx wearers, but Spanx ain't a girdle, not according to my standards. If it can be folded flat into a sleeve for retail display, like a pair of panty hose or panties, …
Goldilocks
Was it not Goldilocks who sat in a chair and broke it? That chair belonged to one of the Three Bears. Well, I wasn't at the home of the Three Bears. I was sitting with a good friend on a barstool in his kitchen when suddenly I lost my balance. The chair seemed to have dumped me. I caught my balance before hitting the ground but when I glanced back at the offending chair I saw that it had been twisted, bent down as though by a very heavy force - MY ASS!! …