Venus of Willendorf, 22,000B.C.E
One of the great joys of the Spa at Trump – besides the luxury, great staff and amenities – is the fact that the locker room is often empty. It’s huge and there are plenty of places for the modest naked woman to change in complete solitude. I usually show up in the middle of the day when most folks are working and I have the entire place to myself or so it seems. That pleases me. But on this particular day, I get to the spa closer to the end of the workday and by the time I finish my work-out, shower, steam and walk back to my locker, I am surrounded by naked, young, thin women.
“Oh shit!” Immediately I think about jumping back into the shower but as more of them entered the locker area I realized that I am trapped and besides my fingertips are resembling the folds of an accordion.
I smile as I approach them. I am dripping wet and covered from the neck down with a multitude of towels. I sit down on the bench in front of my locker and wait. They smile back at me busily drying themselves and reaching into their own lockers for the tiniest of panties and bras. I begin to feel foolish just sitting there frozen in my towels and decide to pretend like I’m going to do the same. I open my own locker and reach for my humongous panties and quickly ball them up in my hands. My bra, which looks like it could cover the entire torso of the young chickie next to me, can not be so easily hidden. And besides, I have to dry off and stuffing my boobs into my bra takes a lot of preparation and many steps. I decide to wait and begin contemplating the contents of my now open locker.
This is ridiculous! I have nothing to hide! We are all women here. We have the same parts!
But I knew in my heart that our parts are not the same. Revealing my super-sized form in front of these nubile fillies was not gonna happen. I decide to sit and wait it out. So, I sat quietly listening to their happy chatter, watching as they slip on the smallest of clothing, blow dry their hair and leave one by one… I continue to sit there feeling more foolish by the moment as I analyze my own self consciousness and what brought me to this. I even begin to chuckle to myself at my predicament.
Why am I so afraid of getting naked in front of other women? I know that I am not the only one. But I know that at my current weight and in my present form that I would be a sight to behold. And my breasts! OY! People will stare. Maybe if I was in a room of other fat women – women with rolls- I would not feel so self conscious. (I cringe at the thought of my Facebook friends reading this) But I have never seen anyone as fat as me at this place – ever. I wonder: “Do men ever have this problem?”
As I sit in my toweled prison, an elderly women enters. She is close to 80 years old, dripping wet from the pool. She is all ease and friendliness. We begin to chat and I start to feel more comfortable. Then she begins to disrobe and gets butt naked in front of me as we are talking. Her saggy breasts are waving in the wind, her wrinkled skin hangs on her body. Then she turns around and bends right over practically in my face and I see all her… business. OY! She calmly grabs a towel out of her locker slings it over her arm and walks casually towards the showers. I hear her bare feet padding towards the shower area. I begin to laugh out loud.
There I sit wrapped up in four towels as Gypsy Rose Lee does her Senior Naked Dance throughout the locker room. What is wrong with this picture? I grab all my stuff and go into a bathroom stall to get dressed. I decide I must get over this.
Later, I ask my bartender friend Jane if she gets naked in changing rooms at her yoga classes. (Jane is a gorgeous girl with a toned, voluptuous body.)
“Shit, Yeah!” Then she proceeds to tell me that we all have the same parts and anyone who stares or has a problem with it can just kiss her firm little ass. (My words not hers.) She adds that she does notice the energy change in the room as she gets totally naked in front of other women but she just ignores it. She also reminds me that she used to work as a stripper for three years…
But back to me: I will aspire to nakedness in the women’s locker room but for now I will just be happy that I am there at all. The important thing is to show up and work out. By the way, I was so tired after my most recent work-out that I didn’t even care who was there. I’d done a resistance work-out in the pool and I was whupped.
I get out of the sauna and shower and reach for my robe. I head towards the lockers all the while saying to myself:
“Fuck it! Y’all gonna see a fat ass tonight! I am too tired to care. I just wanna get dressed and go home.”
I turn the corner and find that the locker room is completely empty.
“Thank you Jesus!”
Don’t know where the hell you find your graphics, but I love Venus compared to that gold picture! I could reall see senior Gypsy Rose! Loved that description! Who gives a shit at 80 anyhow, you’re happy to be alive and at the health club. I can relate to the dilemma, but my belly roll bothers me the most as I don’t have big boobs. At least ya have them and haven’t had a mastectomy or worse!! Thank the Lord you’re there trying to get better! If other women look, which they shouldn’t, they should be inspired to keep working out. They should offer you an encouraging word too! Now when they start hittin’ on ya you know you’re making BIG progress! When you walk out of the shower, hold your head, boobs, and everything else up proudly! You go girl!! Keep it up!! Proud of ya!!
HAHA! Love your comment Deb!! Happy Thanksgiving!!! The pic is of an ancient figure found in Willendorf (Austria) in the early 1900’s. Very famous and widely adopted by some women’s advocates (Gaia types and the lot) as the original ideal portrait of womanhood! It is dated at about 22,000B.C.E. so she belongs to some really prehistoric peoples and is widely considered an item of worship – obviously a Goddess or fertility symbol and obviously a big woman – her shape was revered – maybe I can work on that as well! There were many other similar figurines found at various sites about the region…
The Venus of Willendorf was bored into our heads as the Goddess of Fertility. When I was @ UC taking advanced Art History, she was viewed as the symbol of womanhood and fertility. She is awesome!
As for going commando, I’m cool. I don’t give a shit. I had 2 babies and have a roll that can sometimes hide M & M’s and small pencils but AH DON’ CARE. My butt is wrinkly and flat and I look all of 50. But at least I am AT the gym and doing what I need to do to make my heart better.Strut your stuff. They can’t sing like you, have your huge fanbase and they ain’t as fun as you. Skinny Bitches.
HAAAA You are too funny! I refuse to accept that your butt is flat & wrinkly! M & M’s & small pencils? I can hide a bottle of tabasco!
After this weekend, I am going to be a regular at the gym. Not that I ate a lot but I sat on my ass and watched a shitload of football and movies. No activity+ eating= no bueno.
Strange as it seems, I lost weight this weekend. Having a gig on Friday helped – I danced.