OMG!!! It’s true folks! I forgot to pack my girdle this weekend. I am performing at a black tie event without a girdle. You might ask: “How could this happen?” Hell, if I know. I have never- let me repeat – never, ever, forgotten my girdle. And we ain’t talking no prissy, wimpy Spanx shit. I mean a GIRDLE. No offense to Spanx wearers, but Spanx ain’t a girdle, not according to my standards.
If it can be folded flat into a sleeve for retail display, like a pair of panty hose or panties, it ain’t no girdle. A girdle is way more intense. When you purchase a girdle it is displayed on it’s own hanger on a rack with a bunch of other girdles. It comes in white, black or beige only. It has thick material that can not be penetrated by the human fingernail. It has a front panel that deflects bullets. It reminds you of the 1950’s. It is a device for a body that has more than just “wobbly bits.” Don’t feel bad if you haven’t progressed to a girdle. Spanx was invented for girls who are not truly girdle ready. Spanx are for girls (and guys now I hear) with a little “belly” not a huge stomach. If you can not hide a small bottle of hot sauce (or airplane sized liquor) under your belly than you probably don’t need a girdle. I’m just saying.
That’s what I’m talking about and I don’t have mine today. I forgot to pack it. However, I did remember to pack every charger, USB cord and extra battery that I might need for all of my electronics as well as four black tee shirts and my red flannel pajama bottoms. Whatsa girl to do?!!
I will let you know if going support-garment-less affected my singing in any way.
By the way, we are performing in an airport hangar.
You never know, Lynne. With all that room to breathe you may be able to hold the notes longer and hit notes you’ve never hit before. Good luck. I’m sure you will be fabulous!
Y’know I did hold a few super long notes… thanks for commenting! Thanks again!
Wow, you go! I never go to work without my Kymaro Bodyshaper…Thank God for support products~it just packs it all in quite nicely. I remember I had to help my granny and my great aunt hook their corsets together on special occasions. And my mama’s girdle looked like a piece of armor. 🙂
That’s what I’m talking bout!
By the way, I did fine without the girdle. I had a pair of long leggings stashed in my suitcase and wore that under my gown. They kept my thighs from rubbing togethr and I felt comfortable…