Verklempt.
Definition: Verklempt is a Yiddish word that means “overcome with emotion.” Pronounced “fer-klempt,” people use it when they are so emotional that they’re on the verge of tears or at a loss for words due to their emotional state.
I am Verklempt.
I’ve been trying to compose a New Year’s message but I am just so grateful for the love that I have received, the response to my Gofundme campaign and my recent sold-out show at City Winery (for starters) that I just end up sitting at my computer weeping uncontrollably. There is always the desire to discard the past year (if it was a particularly shitty one) and look toward the new: Put aside the past crap and move forward. Yet, I can’t help but reflect on the New Year as a growth of seeds sown in the previous year. Everything that has happened to me in my life has made me who I am. You can not truly escape the past. You can’t change it, but you can learn from it and approach the coming year with new hopes, plans and ACTION. So my New Year’s resolution is to learn and love the past year and take action to be the BEST I can be in 2016.
(Thanks Fred for my new mantra)
Yes, 2015 was a tough year professionally for me and so many others but I can’t really complain because it’s also been a year of wonderful things.
For example:
- My participation in composer Isabelle Olivier’s “Don’t Worry,Be HaRpy,” and our resulting friendship – plus TWO trips to Paris!
- My performance and association with Redmoon’s The Great Chicago Fire Festival and that amazing photograph by John Zich. (see above photo)
- My singing in Japanese at The Humanities Festival.
- The Billie Holiday Tribute show with Daryl Nitz where I made new diva friends and received a wonderful review by Howard Reich in my intro to “Strange Fruit” which happened to be an excerpt from a piece from my one woman show. (See photo below)
- “The Eleven Divas” shows and a special night singing with Margaret Murphy-Webb at Jazzy Mondays.
- My participation in Stephanie Rogers “Story Jam” series where I premiered three of my pieces from my one woman show.
- My two sold out shows at City Winery Chicago (one of which was on the the first day of 2016).
- City Winery Chicago in general.
- The continuation of working with the dedicated, loyal, world-class musicians that make-up my band Lynne Jordan & the Shivers.
- My dearest Jana stepping in to save the life of my beloved kitty Shana Punim.
- (I could list countless dear friends who have stepped in to save my ass … You know who you are!)
- The generosity and care from Doctors Dan Ivankovich, Karla Ivankovich and Peter Georgiou.
- And of course, the unconditional love from my dear family and friends.
And then there’s the Gofundme campaign. Before that campaign I was suffering from feelings of unworthiness on many levels of my life – physically, professionally and personally – as I questioned my ability to function as a responsible adult. Then I asked for help. I received that help and so much more. I discovered how much I was loved. I discovered that I am not alone. And to be quite honest, I am still processing the impact of that generosity.
I can’t talk about being on the receiving end of love and generosity without mentioning that wonderful gift of fitness that I received from my dear friend (my other Dad) Fred. If it weren’t for the stamina I got from working-out with my trainer Jeremy, I would have had neither the energy nor the stamina to do most of the stuff that I mentioned above.
So, I have to say this: 2016 is going to be a continuation of the great things that happened in 2015, but with more energy, determination, self-love and kindness to others. I will give back to the world some of the gifts I have been given by being the BEST I can be. And I will always be grateful for what I have: Life, Love and this powerful gift of art.
I know how BLESSED I am. My blessings have made me a firm believer in the existence of angels because this has to be coming from a source greater than I – greater than Science can even explain.
I mean that shit.
Now I have to go find more tissues so that I can blow my nose from crying tears of sheer joy and gratitude.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
From Howard Reich’s review of “Holiday at 100: a Tribute” in the Chicago Tribune April 8, 2015.
(Note: you can click on the photo and zoom in and read the type.)
