Well, just a couple more tidbits about my feelings in flight, then onto actually being here in one of my favorite cities…
“ONE HOUR INTO flight”
So yours truly moved away from “Mr let me spread my legs and take over the seat even tho this big bitch is sposed to be next to me” to settle quite comfortably next to a friendly (fellow Mac using – I might add) middle aged couple.
NOTE:
If this mothafucka in front of me lets his seat down and bumps my Mac down one more time I’ma whoop his ass!!
And no the flight attendant didn’t just hand me a “hot” paper towel with a set of tongs. I must inform her that she coulda just handed that shit to me with her hands cause it was COLD!!! Oh, this is no way for a Diva to travel!!
I had to put my fucking carry on in a bin in the business section and like my ass, my carry one is heavy. Anyhoo, I was so discombobulated by my “stand by” situation and my PERIOD (sorry guys but it’s a part of being born female) THAT I WANTED TO CRY.
But Gail & Joe have been my salvation!! We became quite chatty. And I began feeling really ecstatic about this trip.
And I wasn’t always. As of 5PM I thought I wasn’t gonna get on the plane and I then I realized I was not gonna get in business class. And you muthas can rag on me all you want, but the diff between business & coach is a bitch. Lemme sum it up. SERVICE.
In business it’s all about: Whatever you want and how can we make it better and more phoofy for you. (just like home)
In coach, it’s about getting it done and get outta the way we got others to lay TV dinner trays down for.
Let me sum it up:
Business snack: finely sliced cheese, grapes and gourmet crackers on glass trays. Free booze.
Coach snack: a MINI bag of mini pretzels. Gallo wine – Five dollars!! Nuff said!
Three hours into flight:
I have truly been saved by Gail & Joe ( the aforementioned couple) from the west coast whose first destination upon landing is the Dampring (My favorite coffeehouse) And these muthafuckas are still in love after 28 years!!
For some reason I was being all prudish and shit regarding the weed smoking aspect of Amsterdam. I’ve been waxing poetic about the architecture & tea… but now methinkin a little ganja inspiration is just what de doctor ordered!! what do you all think?
But let me -. I do love Amsterdam for its gabled houses and the canals and the fact that you can view a 17th century house everywhere and that prostitution is legal and soft drugs tolerated. I love that everyone from the old man grandpa to the little toddler speaks English. Amsterdamers know their town is the shit but not in the fucked up snooty way of some Parisians or New Yorkers. I think being able to regularly see buildings from the Middle Ages mellows you out.
I hope this flight is a sign of things to come! I am enjoying writing to y’all Big time but I am sposed to be writing my show.
The guy in front of me is begging for an ass whippin… One more time asshole…
I am so excited that I can barely stand it. I can’t believe I am gonna be in Amsterdam… my beloved Amsterdam in a few hours!! Hey, my x piece o shit boyfriend broke my heart here and I never held it against Amsterdam.. you know what I’m saying: You can’t go somewhere because it reminds you of a terrible experience – well, not me!
