OY!! This animal is a whole buncha work. Let me tell ya!! Half the time I adore her, the other half I picture leaving her at a shelter with a note:
Please take my kitty. She’s a pain in the ass and I want to kill her.
I guess I just went kitty-less for too long and forgot what a commitment and adjustment it is to have an animal in the house.
For example:
I like to drink beverages (soda, water, juice) with a straw.
1. I can never leave a glass (with a straw) unattended as Shana Punim will start batting at it and will -without fail- overturn it.
2. Her nocturnal activities are beyond annoying. I read a website (Dumb Friends) that says exercise is important for cats under two years old. Fine. I think to myself. I read on:
Since kittens need a lot of playtime, try to set up three or four consistent times (fifteen to twenty minutes) during the day to initiate play with your kitten. This will help her understand that she doesn’t have to be the one to initiate play by pouncing on you. or interrupt their owner’s sleep with nocturnal adventures.
Excuse me? Who has the time? Well, actually, I do have the time, but My God!! I need to exercise MYSELF for fifteen minutes a few times a day. Did I adopt a child? And because my cat weighs seven hundred pounds – when she pounces on me – it hurts!! Of course, she
always pounces on my chest. OWW!
3. She’s a scratcher. And my furniture is way too nice to be destroyed by a cat. I purchased a scratching post which she uses for about seven seconds before she goes to town on my chairs, ottomans and back of the couch. My last kitty used a scratching post that was filled with catnip. I got it from a friend because her cat ignored it. The kitty rule book says to provide several scratching alternatives and place them by her favorite “inappropriate objects” (my upholstered furniture) to help with her training. TRAINING? I have to train my cat? Oy!!
I fear that I am gonna have to get her declawed. I was so humane before I let this beast move in with me. But it’s either her claws or my upholstery… and sorry folks, I fear the claws gotta go.
4. My cat has an eating disorder.
My friend Denise has four cats and says they harass her (as a gang) every morning for food until she wakes up. Oh my goodness!
My little monster would intermittently knock things off of my nightstand (batting the alarm clock off always works) and jump on me until I would get up and refill her bowl. Of course she was such a pig she would stand at her bowl and clean it out and then throw up the food in solid form.
I tried rationing her food, but she would torture me so much and for so long that I would just give in. The two of us layed around all day and ate with hardly any physical activity. So, of course she got fat. She started to look like an oppossum: tiny head and a swollen midsection. Actually, she looked like she had swallowed a cantaloupe – WHOLE!!
I put her on a diet. I bought her a high end – phoofy – diet cat food. And now she does not clean her bowl out in fifteen minutes. Now, it actually takes her a full day to finish the bowl. There must be something to that high end cat food. Not that she cares. She’d happily eat paper all day – did I mention the contract she chewed up?
My cat behaves like a goat.
On the other hand she does seem to genuinely adore me. And she is so pretty. I guess she’s okay with me too… sometimes…
Very funny post. Hang in there! I remember how frustrating kittens are, but they’re worth it once they “get trained”, whether it be by you or by maturity.
I drag a “string” (I found at the pet store a rainbow colored felt-like rope attached to a plastic stick) for my cats, back & forth along the floor in front of me, while I do deep knee bends, side steps, etc. That’s how we all get exercise at the same time! I’m working my legs & butt, & arms & shoulders too, & they run back & forth after this string. Sometimes I let them catch it, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes they just sit in various strategic spots & watch me. Eventually they give in & chase it again. Either way, I’m getting my exercise.
As far as the scratching on furniture: I have little spray bottles, found at the dollar store, full of water, set around my apartment in easy to reach spots. I just point & spray, shooting at them several times like it’s a gun, while walking towards them, saying “no” at the same time.
The spray bottle works while you’re sleeping, too, just roll over to grab it & spray her, she’ll jump down right away.
Nowadays, all I have to do is pick up the bottle, & my cats quit whatever they were thinking about doing!
Yep, Dumb Friends suggest the spray bottle and multiple ones all over the house. My cat learned a new trick today. Jumping up the wall to attack a painting that’s hung there.
grrrr.
Lynne – she is so cute!!!!!!! How can you resist those little eyes? I do understand – cause my daughter moved back home for awhile with 2 cats and I had all new furniture after 40 years of waiting – they ARE NOT DECLAWED EITHER – OH Lord!!!!!!! I can’t tell you what that did to my nerves – attacking the art work would have been the end of the line!!!!! It is pretty funny though – they are psycho and cute all at the same time! Kind of like people!
P.S. My son got the password thing figured out for me after 2 days of trying and only getting that dam message ” INCORRECT PASSWORD” – OY!!!!!!!!
Oh honey, I’m glad you got the sign on thing figured out!!
Yep, the kitty claws are the thing that makes me really want to give her away.
Such a good mother you are to allow her to bring the clawed kitties into your home. A mother’s work is never done…
Thanks for stopping by!
P.S. I reacted very strongly to the jumping at the painting thing.
I believe she may have gotten the message…
Check this out:
http://www.softclaws.com/
Maybe this would work for you and kitty. You know when we first got M&K they give you a 30 day period to return an animal if things aren’t going well. Everyday of those 30 I kept thinking “Lord, I can’t do this it’s too hard, they’re terrible!” then I’d look at them and think “you’re lucky you’re cute” and then keep my commitment to patiently dealing with all of their behavior or definite lack of it and soldier on. You me them and while they are not perfect they appreciate us and we them and I am glad they are not longer roaming the highway in danger of being slammed by a car or truck. Hang in there with kitty – it’s worth it. Oh, BTW – don’t be jealous but I just acquired the most coveted fashion accessory known to man………….the compression stocking for my varicose vein! “Oy” as you would say. I asked for something in black fishnet but alas they only come in ‘flesh’ tone what I
want to know is “who’s flesh tone?????” But they are available in an open toes model so at least my pedicure won’t go unnoticed!
I know, I know. I do like her a lot, most of the time…Thanks for the understanding cause she is a bit of work.
Your story about the compression stocking is HILARIOUS!!! Your asking for fishnet knocks me out!! You should write to the manuf. about making a black stocking. Tell them that not every one who needs ’em is afraid of being an “old lady with black stockings!!” some are hot mama’s who like black!
Whoops, it should be “you MET them”
didn’t even notice!
I also asked at the time for seamed black fishnets, forgot to mention that part. So far I’ve gotten a couple compliments while doing my dog walks with my new accessory! And you know what? It’s not so bad to wear, 30 years of retail and standing took it’s toll on these gams. My beloved still refers to me as a beach ball with martin glass legs! You’ve got to find humor in this sort of thing, getting old ain’t for sissies! Another sign of aging, my bifocals had to be strengthened! I was able to fill in the gap by getting some hot new Versace frames 😉
Keep on Keepin’ on with kitty your life will be much richer for it! The “puppy: peed the other night on our huge microfiber couch…………….Oy! But we cleaned it up and it’s o.k., no odor or anything 😉 She has an incontinence problem that we treat with medication but every now and then she slips up.I think she was emotionally fatigued as was I after a THREE WEEK visit from the IL’s. Your kitty is beautiful and so are you my dear dear friend! Much aloha! A hui hou – XOXO
You crack me up!! Gettin’ old ain’t for sissies – ain’t it the truth!!
You should start a blog. Your stories are so funny!
Thanks again for checking in and always leaving such wonderful comments!!
Lol! The kitty capers! I’m glad I’m not the only one able to get mad at cute balls of fluff. We have a rabbit and a kitten mind you and guess who does most of the care? Fufu is one of those dog-like cats that likes to wait for you at the bedroom door every morning and expects to sit in you lap whenever he feels like it. And he whines and whimpers if you don’t come out of the room fast enough. We won’t go into my brand new couch and range of scratching posts that sit unused. I have a collection of spray bottles that I only have to pick up to get him to run away. The problem is that he knows when I’m busy and too far away to spray him and will proceed to scratch away until he hears me coming!
Oh, I’m glad o know I’m not the only one!!! My little monster scratches for a few seconds then always turns and looks at me… like she’s waiting for my reaction. SCREAM!!! I bought “NO Scratch” spray to repel kitties from scratching furnitue… COMPLETELY INEFFECTIVE!! The spray bottle of water does work and even “Dumb Friends” says “throwing a pillow” is okay…hee hee hee… I’m sure they mean a throw pillow, not one of the king sized heavy weight down pillows I sleep on…