Strange days. I am a very upbeat, positive kind of person. I always look on the bright side of most situations and people. However, lately my usually happy-go-lucky thoughts have turned to those of my own mortality. Stroke, heart attack, Cancer, disease and death are what I visualize on a huge roulette wheel and it’s spinning. Whose number will be up next? It could be me. I could be next. There could be Cancer cells growing in me right now. A little clot may be waiting to stir loose and travel to my brain.
Believe me when I tell you. I do not dwell in this place but anytime one of my peers is stricken, I shudder – first in mourning for them – and then in fear of that big unknown. It feels selfish to think of oneself in light of the loss of another, but I can’t help myself.
I am not young. I am closer to the end than the beginning of my life.
Does anyone else think these morbid thoughts from time to time?
Of course I just keep on living, drink a little less, exercise more (well, I want to exercise) check in on friends…
I say:
It’s time to start living like there’s no tomorrow, because like my mama always said: “it ain’t promised to ya!”
I find myself looking at old pictures and waxing nostalgic a lot lately. As youth passes me by, I am sad. I want another ride on the care free train!!!But alas, I take more pills than a 90 year old and dr appts fill my weeks. But all in all I am healthy and I am the same age Mama was when she died. So glad I’ve passed that psychological milestone. Eat right, exercise and just listen to your body–if there is evil in there growing, you’d know it. Love you shimmy boo.