Fat Pussycat & Me.

So, I’m lounging here in the bed and as I reach over to grab something to eat I hear a muffled cry from beneath me. It’s my poor kitty Shana Punim who, as a show of her steadfast loyalty and unbeknownst to me, has saddled up beside me – and I rolled over on top of her – poor Shana. Luckily she survived. But I realized that a more agile and stealth kitty would have maneuvered out of the way. My cat has become lethargic and overweight, just like me.

Once upon a time, I was more agile and slimmer. So was Shana Punim. Look at her in the early days. Look at her slender face.

Now look at her face after a couple of months of bottomless bowls of cat food.

In fact, Shana Punim reminds me of a lemon. When I look down at her I see that she has a tiny little head and narrow hips and this big bulge in the middle. You know, like a lemon! I switched to a fancy weight control brand of kitty nourishment.

Many of my friends have told me that their kitties have refused to eat diet cat food. Luckily, Shana is not finicky – not like my last kitty. We would have battles of will: she would suddenly stop eating what I had been feeding her and would refuse to eat until I found the proper brand and flavor to suit her taste that month. I would refuse to go shopping around until she “liked a certain flavor and brand.” I would fill her bowl with what we had and just watch it go uneaten for a few days until I realized that she was wasting away. Then of course I would have to give in. It made me crazy.

Not this one. Shana Punim will eat just about anything. I have measured out her food and have even refused to dole out one nugget more than her alotted portion, but to no avail. She is still a hefty creature. You should try picking her up! Everyone always grunts when they lift her up – just like Serena Williams as she swings at a serve at the US Open!

And she has created new and more annoying ways to get her point across:

FEED ME! FEED ME NOW!!

She used to just poke me gently while I slept. She would lightly place her paw (claws retracted) on my face over and over again until I either woke up or whipped the covers over my head.

“Leave me alone you beast!”

Then she started poking at my arms, applying more pressure: push and push, until her patience wears out and then she extends a coupla claws. OW!!

And then there was the ole’ knock-something-off-the-night-stand-trick. Eventually, she would just bat my alarm clock on the floor. That always woke me up! I would jump up and chase her down the hall right to her feed bowl… clever…

But her most effective trick was the “pounce and run.” Most times I would wake up with such a start that I wouldn’t know what hit me – literally! I would get up and go to the bathroom and would see her looking at me quite innocently. Of course she would be sitting in front of her empty feed bowl:

Hey, while you’re up why don’tcha drop a few nuggets in thee old kitty bowl…

Then one day she landed on me and I woke before she could complete her mission. I caught her in mid-air just as she was pushing off! Ha! The fear in her eyes was hilarious!

I must say that she hasn’t tried that one in quite some time.

I reckon that I must start exercising her again. We used to walk outside – she in a harness and leash. It was quite amusing and provided entertainment for the whole neighborhood. Then there was the brief moment when I used to exercise her in the house for ten to fifteen minutes, three times a day. That got old fast.

But now I see that we both need to exercise for our health and to cease boredom. Let’s see if we actually start working out tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted.