In the Life of a Diva

So I have resumed my "swimming lessons." I never quite mastered the basic stroke/kicking and breathing thing and always stopped classes just as I got them all working together. And the last class I took before this one was the first time I ventured into the deep end.And so after another big delay in getting the darn class scheduled, I went to my private swimming lesson and it was GREAT!! I felt so invigorated and renewed. I have been tossing around the idea of getting back into shape again. …

OY!!! I can finally talk about our glorious trip to Hawaii. My group was hired by a corporation to fly into Honolulu for a corporate gig. In & out - nothing to it right? HA!! No such luck for me the bandleader, the mama of my "grown assed men" band. Now y'all know how much I loves' my band - but as most children do- they make me wanna kill 'em!! Let me explain: First of all, one member gets thrown into rehab ("I say: no, no no") and just as we are about to board the plane, my keyboardist …

That's does it! I have found my dream man: IRON MAN.There are several reasons why he is my dream man.1. The whole genius/bad boy thing is totally thrilling.2. That suit fucking rocks!3. He can fly.4. Did you see the cod piece on that mutha?5. He is loaded.6. I can always use him to get next to Terrence Howard.7. He was very funny & drank a lot.Okay, okay... relax. I know it was just a movie. I'm just messing with yall. BUT, saw it last night at 10:45PM and had a BALL!!I have decided that the …

Nearest Pay Phone I was stranded. I didn't need a ride or money. I needed a pay phone. See, I left my cell phone on its charger at home. I needed to call my BFF Brenda to confirm our dinner plans. I was in Starbucks. No pay phone. I walked out onto the street. I scoped out the corners. No pay phone. I started walking, ducking into various establishments - like restaurants & bars - along this tony street of shops and such - past the gourmet olive oil store - No pay phone. WTF!!! So I started …

Now you can imagine that I have a lot to say about this. My one woman show is being written about body weight issues and fat: love it or hate it - WTF. I will be the first to say: Aretha is fat. Aretha is really fucking fat. And I am beginning to think she don't give a damn. She said so. I'm not completely convinced but hey... she wears them dresses showing them big titties and arms and hell, on one hand I'm like "Go Aretha, fuck them haters!" On the other hand I feel like cringing and …