Bringin’ in a Brand New Year

I finally got tired of feeling tired and low-down.

I am singing tonight and right after I said to myself: “I wish I could just stay home on the couch and watch TV tonight,” I realized that I am going to be a big part of how a lot of people will be starting off their new year and I need to step up to the responsibility and stop whining. Time to get off my fat ass and get into motion. At first I tried to chalk it up to my grief over Flo’s death but I know for a fact that she’d be saying: “Bitch, don’t try to blame that shit on me. You always wanting to stay home in your house on the couch.”

I realize that I am always like this before a gig. I need to indulge in a pre gig ritual that gets me out of this state of anxiety. A diva ritual!

I feel better already.

Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to “be all that I can be.” Sometimes it’s easier to just lay back and let the chips fall where they may. It is definitely easier to pace time, go through the motions and create no action. This is the wrong mindset if you wanna make a living as an entertainer…

I realize that inaction is a choice that always results in something – usually dire – always unsatisfactory. Just try ignoring your bills and watch what happens…

People are spending money just to see me tonight and I can not let my periodic feelings of low self worth (or whatever the fuck is my problem) overshadow the fact that folks believe in me, love me, think I am an exceptional talent and want me to be happy.

Tonight I am just gonna accept the love and quit trippin’!

Is this turning into a New Year’s Resolution? I really don’t want to do that. I don’t want to continue to look back over the past three years and see a blog peppered with promises to change my life: Lose weight, get my career to the next level blah blah blah…

So, let me just say this: Tonight I am going to do my job and entertain well. I am going to sing my ass off tonight because 200+ people have paid $85 each to see me do my thing with my fantastic band and have a fantastic meal. And I know that Flo would say: “Bitch, shut up & quit trippin’! You are the shit!”

It’s time for new beginnings. I for one, am ready to see where they lead, but first: New Year’s Eve at Rhapsody Restaurant.

Happy New Year! May your new beginnings be fruitful and bring you happiness.

P.S. I am gonna get my butt back to the gym. More on that in my next “Amazing Adventures of Permanent Lifestyle Change Girl” post!