Am I there yet?

Typical diva day. I packed Tuesday night and marveled at how fabulous and on top of things I was. That should have been the first sign that things were gonna go to hell in a hand bag! Then my sweet cousin called to tell me that there was a slight chance that I may not get on the plane… I was flying stand by for Business class. I had never done that before.

Then I broke a nail! BAD SIGN… That coupled with the stand by issue would stress out any girl but then my dear friend & upstairs neighbor tells me that perhaps my not getting on the flight was due to divine intervention: “Maybe your mama is watching out for you?” Now, I’m wondering should I even hope to go since my dead mama’s spirit is obviously trying to keep me home for a reason…?

Thanks Bren!

But then I figured I should get that nail fixed in any case. So I jump in a taxi, go to the salon get the nail repaired and return home – all in 25 minutes! I still had 35 minutes till dear Colin (my sound dude and friend) was due to take me to the airport!!I depart for O’hare, and by this time most of greater Chicago knows my tenuous situation.

I check in with my 62 pound bag (fifty bucks for the extra 12 pounds – why I didn’t just pack two bags I’ll never know! I go to my gate, eye another “pay as you go WIFI spot.”.. plug in and wait for my name to be called so I can get on the plane. Now I can’t get a seat assignment until after all of the paying (Revenue) customers have been given seats.

The airline sends a companion packet that tells you what not to wear ( Hoochie Mama clothing or sneakers or jeans) and what not to do (do not sit near the ticket counter, do not interfere with anything involving “revenue customers”) And so I was being a good girl sitting in the background keeping cool… then I noticed that all of the other folks who had been hanging around the desk were all getting called and seated… “Hey wait a minute…!”

I meekly walk up to the counter after the last shrieking with glee customer gets called to take their seat assignment:
“Oh my god! We got first class!! Whoa!”

I ask: “Does this mean there are no more seats?”

Mr. Ticket dude looks at me, pauses, “Oh are you on the list? What’s your name? I was just gonna call you.” He looks down at his screen…”Oh, I don’t have anymore seats in Business, but I can give you an aisle seat in coach…!!”

“Oh my God! I got an aisle seat in Coach!!”

Actually, Economy Plus… and there really does seem to be some room for me legs and me feets. But that little gem is obscured by my very cute German Jerkface seat mate! More on that later… next entry… things do improve though… greatly… And NO, I did not join the Mile High Club with the Cute German Jerkface.