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Lynne Jordan

A Great Big Diva!

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Lynne Jordan | A Great Big Diva

Spa Culture

October 30, 2008 By //  by Lynne Jordan

I don’t think of myself as a prude, but I guess I am fairly modest when it comes to my body. I don’t like to wear plunging necklines to show off my ample bosom, but I don’t hold it against anyone who does. I also feel uncomfortable walking around stark naked in the women’s locker room at the spa. Everyone else is changing and padding around in bare feet, butt naked and there I am with two to three towels trying to cover up my business. I remember a Sex & the City episode where the four girls are at a spa and go into the steam room and drop their towels with the exception of Charlotte. She feels self conscious of her body. And that bitch is nowhere near obese! So, I guess I’m like Charlotte.

It’s funny though, cause a friendly woman will stand completely naked and have a conversation with me, while I am covered from head to toe with a robe and towel – the towel is to cover up the space that the robe doesn’t quite conceal. I can pull the sides together and tie the damned thing but it gaps from the crotch down… OY! Damned spas… do fat women refuse to go to spas?

Am I the only woman who feels uncomfortable walking around naked in front of other women? Am I nuts? Sometimes I just don’t feel like grabbing for the darn towel every time someone walks in but luckily the Trump spa locker room isn’t crowded. But I feel like the girls will stare, you know? I am most definitely a “specialty act” – the belly, the big tits… I dunno. I wonder if Aretha Franklin walks around naked in front of other people. I guess if I was around other super-sized broads I’d feel more comfortable. I know in my heart that I should not give a shit, but try as I might I can’t let go and drop the towel.

It’s hard to dry oneself and then put on deodorant and powder, all the while trying to cover up one’s naked flesh. The towels are large at the spa but not like my bath sheets at home where I can actually wrap one around my body and do the “tuck under” to hold it in place. silly huh? Anybody else out there with this issue? Just had to ask.

Note: The Spa at Trump does have two private areas (with doors) for the modest, so I guess I’m not the only shy one out there.

Also: I have no problem getting butt naked for my massages. One of my girlfriends says she keeps her bra & panties on during her massages. I thought that was weird cause she’s one of those walking naked women. Go figure!

Filed Under: In the Life of a Diva Tagged With: Linkedin

About Lynne Jordan

Singer, Writer, Plus-Sized Diva, Movie Lover. Star Trek lover. Very Funny.

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Comments

  1. sadie

    October 30, 2008 at 9:07 PM

    My body is damn near fifty and ah don’ give a shit. My boobs sag, I’ve got “baby pooch” in front and my ass is mass. I guess it is the artist in me. It is a body, a shell, some skin over bones..Don’t care. I would love to go to a nude camp. After 10 minutes of naked-ness, I relax. And the vibe spreads too, if you aren’t uptight, people around you chillax too.

  2. sadie

    October 30, 2008 at 9:07 PM

    My body is damn near fifty and ah don’ give a shit. My boobs sag, I’ve got “baby pooch” in front and my ass is mass. I guess it is the artist in me. It is a body, a shell, some skin over bones..Don’t care. I would love to go to a nude camp. After 10 minutes of naked-ness, I relax. And the vibe spreads too, if you aren’t uptight, people around you chillax too.

  3. Lynne

    October 31, 2008 at 12:49 AM

    Yeah whatever Missy!!! You still look like you did in high school even after two kids… your baby pooch is just a “slight tummy” that could be eliminated with one of those “get a bikini body in 4 weeks” exercises that you see on the cover of “shape” magazine!! I ain’t mad ‘atcha! Love ya!

  4. Lynne

    October 31, 2008 at 12:49 AM

    Yeah whatever Missy!!! You still look like you did in high school even after two kids… your baby pooch is just a “slight tummy” that could be eliminated with one of those “get a bikini body in 4 weeks” exercises that you see on the cover of “shape” magazine!! I ain’t mad ‘atcha! Love ya!

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