Old As Dirt.
“Getting old ain’t for sissies!” – Bette Davis
“We are always the same age inside.” – Gertrude Stein
Hell yeah! That’s me! and all of you other old farts talking about “age ain’t nothing but a number” and so on – can kiss my wrinkled old ass! Actually wrinkles are not my problem, but if I discover another ache I’m gonna scream! Getting out of a chair ain’t what it used to be! And my life cycles are all outta whack as I speedily leave my childbearing years behind me.
Luckily, my youth was spent in glasses with bad vision, so losing my eyesight is no biggee, and I was never thin when I was young nor did I feel exceptionally beautiful so I don’t miss the beauty of youth. However, I do notice that my menstrual cycles (which lasts about a minute now) begins with cramps like I’ve never felt before. I have more facial hair than ever before and though I have no gray hairs on my head, I do have one white hair that regularly appears in my beauty mark (see mole) on my chin. By the way my beauty mark which used to look like it was a dot made from a kohl pencil has now become an old lady mole with a white hair poking out of it like some Looney Tunes witch. “Ain’t nothing but a number” – my ass!
Unmarried, childless – I have become an old maid – well actually a swinging old maid past the bloom of youth – a crone! It sounds so poetic…
EEheeheeheeheeheehee! I am practicing my best witch laugh.
But seriously folks, I ain’t miserable nor depressed because middle age sure beats the hell out of the alternative. And other than the Recession, life hasn’t been better.
I gotta go put some more heat on my achey knees.