And I said to him: your silence is like a wrecking ball. Then I realized that no one can knock my house down. I’ve stood tall and strong for fifty years.

I started thinking of how much damage I’ve done to myself: weight, unfulfilled promise of my talent, fear and lack of action. Sometimes I stop working on my life and just go day to day, waking and sleeping, running errands, paying bills and not much else except worrying about the past, ignoring real issues and yearning for love and acceptance. But I have love. I have acceptance. So, what the Hell is my problem?

I have to stop tearing myself down and stay upright and survive. Patch up what I can and keep it moving. Rebuild if I have to. All I have to do is start – brick by brick.

That’s what being alive is all about.

Good things are coming …

Tags: Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, personal growth, relationships, self esteem, weight
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

I am sad today. A very dear man died over the weekend. He was a friend to the world of classical music, he was a reknowned expert and dealer of rare antique violins (Stradivarians & Guarneris) and stringed instruments. He loved life. He loved rock n roll. He loved my singing. We had great affection for each other. We traveled to Russia together. I am friends with his lovely daughter. I was honored to call him friend. Continue reading ›

Tags: american embassy to the russian federation, bein & fushi, geoff fushi, Linkedin, loss, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, moscow, rare violins, stradivarian society, stradivarian violin, weight
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

Weird day today. A friend, a good friend who I’ve known for decades expressed “worry” that I might drop dead from being fat. Actually she said: “I worry about you” and then proceeded to tell me that another friend wanted to do an “intervention” which I later found out was not true.

It was handled so cavalierly. It wasn’t a “sit down” or an intimate conversation. She said it in passing, almost as an aside in the middle of a phone conversation. We weren’t even talking about weight. It caught me off guard. I think it was shitty especially since I go out of my way to make this woman feel good about her appearance at every possible moment.

My reaction surprised me. I didn’t react on the phone but almost immediately after I hung up I got really upset and very hurt. I started crying. Then I got angry. On the one hand, I assumed it came from genuine concern, on the other hand I was like “Thanks for caring, fuck you for sharing!” Continue reading ›

Tags: diet & exercise, Facebook, fat, knee, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, lynne jordan and the shivers, weight control, weight issues, weight loss, women's body image
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

I am offended by the words of people who are so cavalier about the death of the great Whitney Houston. Statements like: “waste of talent,” “I don’t feel sorry for her” and “she blew it” shock and sicken me. It’s as if they have no compassion and seemingly revel in the demise of others. Continue reading ›

Tags: death, lynne jordan & the shivers, lynne jordan and the shivers, performing, personal growth, show business, singers, singing, thoughts on Whitney Houston's death, Whitney Houston, Whitney Houston Dead, Whitney Houston dies
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

It’s been so damn long since I blogged on here that I almost forgot how to use the dang software! Good news:

I was asked again to join the cast of Tony Fitzpatrick’s final installment of the trilogy of his one man shows at Steppenwolfe Garage. The 2011 show “Stations Lost” got rave reviews and garnered a heap of praise for me as well.

This year’s show “Nickel History: Nation of Heat” is opening July 19th – August 5, 2012. The show was written (and will be performed by Tony) Ann Filmer returns as director, along with Tony’s sidekick Stan Klein and virtuoso John Rice and me – the band’s back together! Stay tuned for more details in the coming months.

I have also been inspired to start writing again my damned self. I need to be doing my own freaking show at Steppenwolfe too! Hello? What the hell has been wrong with me? I will get to that later. First: I need to go get some dinner!
P.S. I’m fat as hell right now. That will change this year.

Tags: 16th street theater, ann filmer, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, lynne jordan and the shivers, nickel history: nation of heat, steppenwolf garage, tony fitzpatrick, weight control, weight issues, women's body image
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

I know that time is not passing faster. We would have heard about that right? I mean some physicist would have published a paper announcing the discovery that time was speeding up, right? Continue reading ›

Tags: age, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, lynne jordan and the shivers, summer, summer 2011, time, Time passes
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment today. This is such sad news to me. I was so hoping she would find her way back and start creating more of her terrific music. I loved her voice and her songs so much. My niece called me and gave me the news. She said she could relate to Amy because the love affairs she spoke of were like hers: fucked up, undefined. She said she never experienced love like – say the kind Adele writes about. Amy spoke to a generation. My niece said that she was the first artist of her generation who died like this. It was tragic for her. It is tragic for me because I was waiting for the next project – for the next gift of song treasures that she was going to give to us. It never came.

Poor lost soul, poor girl. I am bracing myself for the heartless cruel things that people will say. You know how awful humans can be when they get the chance to relish in someone’s misfortune. I am not like this. I am not the person who says: “She’ll be dead in a year.” I think predicting such a thing is horrific. I always have hope. And I really hoped that Amy would be able to pull it together.

Her voice is silent now. But I am so thankful for that one album “Back to Black” that excited me like no other in recent memory. All of those wonderful songs. Rest in Peace Amy Winehouse. Thank you for sharing your huge gift with us for a little while.

Tags: amy winehouse, amy winehouse dead, back to black, Lynne Jordan, music
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

Mushiness alert: this post contains expressions of such happiness and gratitude that they may make you puke. But I’m just too happy to give a damn! Continue reading ›

Tags: chicago, happiness, IL, Linkedin, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, personal growth, show business, singing, stations lost, Steppenwolf Theater Merle Reskin Garage Theater, Steppenwolf Theatre, the drake hotel, the palm court in the drake hotel chicago, the White House, weight loss
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

I’m getting ready to get ready for my gig du jour, which happens to be a fundraiser for a wonderful Chicago creative institution: Chicago Dramatists. Their Blue Moon gala will be a smaller event than, say, the one we did last weekend which had close to a thousand guests or the one last month that had a $1250 ticket price! Hiring a big band like mine for their event is a big deal – a change of pace for them and I am honored that they think we will help raise the level of their event. We will work our asses off to get them up and dancing.

The cool thing is that there are some close ties between Chicago Dramatists and me. Continue reading ›

Tags: 16th street theater, ann filmer, arlene malinowski, Blue Moon Annual Fundraiser Gala, chicago Dramatists, chicago playwrights, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, lynne jordan and the shivers, personal growth, playwright, solo performance, stations lost, tony fitzpatrick, writing, writing for solo performance
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva

… especially if I focus on certain things like my upcoming appearance in Tony Fitzpatrick’s play “Stations Lost” at Steppenwolf Garage or the recent string of great gigs we’ve been rocking lately or the recent flurry of social events I’ve managed to leave my diva cave to attend. Life is shit if I focus on my mountain of debt, my weight and my aching knees. But why even go there? I’ve decided to accentuate the positive for my own sanity’s sake! Continue reading ›

Tags: 16th street theater, ann filmer, john rice, Lynne Jordan, lynne jordan & the shivers, one man shows, self empowerment, self esteem, solo performance, soul singer, stan klein, stations lost, steppenwolf garage, Steppenwolf Theatre, theater, tony fitzpatrick
Filed under: In the Life of a Diva